


Frustrations

by Otoko_no_Tsuki



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Developing Relationship, Eventual Relationships, M/M, No Strings Attached, Porn With Plot, Smut, romance of the weird sort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-10-30 18:04:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17833475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otoko_no_Tsuki/pseuds/Otoko_no_Tsuki
Summary: Izaya is alone. He's so alone that he's lonely but he isn't one for relationships. He begins thinking about who he could have a no-strings-attached type relationship with but still connect on an emotional level if he must. Shizuo Heiwajima pops into his head and at first he laughs at the idea and then realizes that maybe it's a brilliant idea. All he has to do it try and convince Shizuo that is could help stop the violence between them. No more fights between them if they learn to connect on this new level.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea I have had for a really really long time. It helped me get out of my writers block to be honest. I haven't watched Durarara in a really long time but I still love ship and watched to do my best at giving it justice and possibly a healthy-ish relationship eventually. Let me know what you think if you think anything of it.

Izaya sat at his desk in his loft in front of the large windows, overlooking at some information. His reading glasses were halfway down the bridge of his nose as he read through the papers, pen in hand to circle things that popped out. Namie sat at the desk adjacent to his, filing and organizing as she is supposed to be as he looks up at her. Izaya studies the side of her face, thinking about how she is just as much someone people hate as he is. He wonders how being hated affects her; wondering if it’s similar to how it affects himself.

He doesn’t like to admit it, but Izaya doesn’t appreciate being the person everyone despises. Of course that doesn’t mean he is going to be changing his behavior anytime soon, it’s just inconvenient to have no one by his side such as Celty or Shinra does. It’s true that loneliness is an emotion Izaya feels, he simply doesn’t express it to anyone. If he must he will fill that loneliness with random strangers that don’t know him and couldn’t even come close to connecting with him. 

Shockingly, Izaya has become bored with those random one night stands. He knows he can never have a normal relationship but he wouldn’t mind at least sleeping with someone who knows him on a deeper level at least. Doing such would be difficult as it wouldn’t be easy to find someone eager and willing. Izaya’s eyes shift upward to Namie again. He ponders the idea of offering it to her but the thought is ridiculous. She would never sleep with just anybody, besides she has that weird thing for her brother. Namie would for sure be off limits. Just asking would get him a well deserved slap.

Izaya sighs as he goes back to the papers in front of him. Namie gives him a side glance but nothing more. He says nothing to her either. For fun he goes down the list of people he knows that could be possible applicants for such a relationship: a no strings attached relationship where they can connect on different levels that aren’t particularly romantic. Izaya isn’t a romantic man anyway, he’s never had the desire to be such.

There are many people Izaya knows but not a lot who would be willing. High schoolers are certainly off the table because that’s not Izaya’s style. He isn’t one of those creepy guys in his twenties that lusts after people under eighteen. Still, there is Shinra who is nowhere near attracted to anyone but Celty, there is Kadota who doesn’t exactly like Izaya either. Celty is also someone he knows but also someone who hates him and someone who is very much in love with Shinra. No sense in even trying to destroy a happy relationship. There are many different people, men and women that Izaya knows but for sure wouldn’t work. Finally, one last name comes to mind.

 

Shizuo Heiwajima.

 

Quickly, Izaya shakes the idea from his mind. The thought is so hilarious he could burst out laughing right now. If anyone really truly does hate him it’s Shizu-chan. The man can barely be in the same vicinity as him, there is no way the man could become his outlet for sex. As Izaya plays with idea he almost chuckles out loud which wouldn’t be the best considering Namie is right there. He starts to think of the things Erika would say about the two of them, joking (or possibly actually being serious) that they fight because they really have feelings for each other. What a ludicrous idea that is. Still, Erika is not off completely. People who hate each other usually have great sex to relieve the tension between them.

 

Wait a minute…

 

Izaya straightens up in his computer chair, dropping his pen as a realization he doesn’t want dawns on him. He could just be being stupid because he’s feeling grossly lonely as well as annoyingly needy sexually since it’s been a little while. He thinks there may be a possibility that doing such a thing with Shizuo could maybe work out. Izaya forgets about his work for now, turning to his computer and opening up a word document. He wants to see how far he can take this idea.

 

                                                                                                                               ~

 

It’s close to sunset in Ikebukuro as Shizuo walks down the street with Tom. They’re getting close to the end of their night, Shizuo lighting a cigarette as they stroll. He brings a hand through his blond hair, easing out  a breath after a long day of throwing people around. He’s quite ready to be getting home, microwave a dinner right before going to bed. Shizuo may not love his job but at least it’s something to pay him and Tom is rather understanding too.

 

“Another successful day.” Tom says, smiling up at his friend. “You seem ready to call it a quits.”

 

Shizuo gives a light smirk. “Yeah I think I am.” He admits. “I’m hoping the rest of my night goes by rather peacefully.” 

 

Tom nods at that. Lately things have been rather decent to Shizuo in the sense of he hasn’t had to use too much violence. That’s mostly due to Izaya not showing up in Ikebukuro for the past couple weeks. It’s not to get to see Shizuo relax a little and not have to worry about that guy showing up.

Apparently Tom  thought positively a bit too soon because here comes Izaya, waltzing down the sidewalk towards them. It only takes seconds for Shizuo to yell the informants name angrily. There it is: the end of Shizuo’s peace. The blond darts towards him, Izaya perking up as if he didn’t expect this to turn violently. The prick even has the nerve to smile ear to ear like this is exactly as he wanted. Tom just grumbles to himself, walking off home because he knows there is no point in waiting for Shizuo. It’s getting too late to care. 

 

Izaya and Shizuo run down the sidewalk, dodging people the best they can but the blond stops to pull a street sign out of the road to use and properly hit Izaya. Still, the dark haired male is too quick, dodging the bats at his body with the metal sign. Izaya turns down an alleyway, knowing exactly what he is doing. He is trying to get cornered; it’s the only way to get to have a conversation with Shizu-chan. He needs to have a very important conversation. 

Shizuo stands at the beginning of the alleyway, sign in hand as he breathes heavy from his running. Damn, he really does need to quit smoking. That though doesn’t really matter. Shizuo stalks forward, ready to beat Izaya to a pulp but the informant’s grin doesn’t falter. This anger causes him to wonder if there really is something else behind it like Erika thinks. Izaya kind of hates how he’s thinking like a manga obsessed girl now. 

 

“Before you swing,” Izaya interjected, “I feel you need to hear why I’m here in the first place.”

 

Shizuo sneered. “I don’t give a shit why you’re here.” He growls angrily, “I told you-”

 

“To stay out of Ikebukuro,” he nods not really caring, “I know. But what if I told you that we don’t need to be fighting like this?”

 

Shizuo doesn’t even want to listen but Izaya is enjoying his new game. He really does want to see how far this can go. If he can get Shizuo to agree to one simple thing after the other and they end up doing this crazy idea of his then perfect. If not then it’ll be fun to continuously tease Shizu-chan about such a thing and pissing him off. When the blond doesn’t respond, Izaya takes that as initiative to keep going.

 

“Why do you hate me?” Izaya asks, looking pointedly at him. He does want to know the real reason behind it. Shizuo has hated him the minute he saw him which isn’t exactly fair. If he actually met him there is a chance they could be halfway friends. 

 

“You’re a disgusting excuse for a human,” Shizuo spats. “You treat people like pawns, you’re a horrible person.”

 

“Okay,” Izaya shrugs, pacing back in forth in his spot, “I can understand that, but why did you hate me at first? You hated me since we were maybe fifteen years old. Why?”

 

“I could tell.”

 

Izaya snorts at that. He can’t help it, it just sounds so ridiculous. Him laughing just makes Shizuo more pissed off so he resets his composure. This technically is a business meeting after all. He should let Shizuo know such as well.

 

“Believe me or not,” the smaller man says, “I’m here on business. I have something I want to offer you to help us stop this-” he looks Shizuo up and down, “-feud between us.”

 

“Unless it’s you never showing your face around here again,” Shizuo grumbles, “I don’t accept your offer.”

 

“You and I both know I can’t leave here.” Izaya points out. “My job here is much to important. Now, tell me. You hate violence, correct?”

 

There is no answer from Shizuo and Izaya didn’t really expect one so he once again continues as if he is simply talking to himself. “I know you do.” He answers for him. “So if there is a way you and I can coexist together in this town, say a different way to let out our anger, don’t you think we should try it?”

 

Shizuo lifts one of his eyebrows, the street sign lowering down and the grip on it loosening. He has no idea what Izaya could be talking about, but the idea that maybe they could find a different outlet, it sounds not only impossible but something Shizuo has always dreamed of. He won’t admit that, but it’s no secret to anyone who knows him that he doesn’t want to be a fighter. He doesn’t want to hurt people even if that person is Izaya. This guy just brings out the worst in him. 

 

“What did you have in mind?” He wonders aloud and that’s when Izaya’s smirk gets wider. He takes a few steps closer to the man he considers to be a monster.

 

Once Izaya is practically chest to chest with Shizuo he looks up to him with eyes that read an emotion that the blond can’t read. “If you really want to change things between us, meet me at my loft tomorrow around three. If you don’t show, I’ll assume everything is going to remain the same, and I’ll be sure to show up in your town much more often.”

 

That’s all Izaya needed to say so he strolls by Shizuo, walking out of the alley completely unharmed as he expected he would be. Now all he really has to do is wait to see what happens. He is sure with that threat about showing up in Ikebukuro more often will influence Shizuo’s decision. It certainly will be fun seeing the man’s reaction tomorrow when he finds out what their new outlet would be. Shizuo may just kill Izaya right there at his desk. How exhilarating.

 

                                                                                                                                      ~

 

Like any normal Thursday, Shizuo has to work. He can’t help but keep looking at his watch, chicking the time. It’s a bit after one o’clock and as each minute goes by he is getting more and more anxious. He keeps thinking about what Izaya was saying last night. He doesn’t have the first clue what is running through that guy’s brain and that is what is making him nervous. He wants to know why Izaya couldn’t just tell him right then and there. That would have been easier, wouldn’t it, but Izaya likes to play games. 

Tom notices Shizuo’s strange behavior causing him to look up at him funny. He’s been weirdly out of it all day and he wonders if it has anything to do with his confrontation with Izaya last night. Shizuo is looking anywhere but in front of him, as if he is trying to distract himself with anything he can.

 

“Are you okay, Shizuo?” Tom asks rather concerned. 

 

“Huh?” he asks looking down at his friend when he is torn out of his thought. “Oh, yeah I’m fine. Um, do you think I could get off a little early?”

 

Tom raises a brow. “Do you have somewhere you need to be?”

 

Shizuo appears to get more uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah kind of.” He says. “I, uh, kind of have an appointment.”  

 

The look on Tom’s face doesn’t falter, in fact it shifts to an even more strange expression. Having an appointment would seem like something Shizuo would bring up before it’s too late. Still, he isn’t going to tell him he has to stay. Tom is pretty good at being lenient with Shizuo’s schedule even though he shouldn’t be. He also doesn’t push what the appointment is about. He’s not that kind of person to tear into his friend’s business like that.

 

“Yeah, sure.” Tom says. “You can leave a bit early if that’s what you need to do.”

 

Shizuo thanks Tom. He hates having to do this but he needs to know what Izaya has up his sleeve. The blond is more than sure that this is just a game to appease his boredom but he’s more curious than he’d like to admit. 

 

Shizuo took the subway to Shinjuku when the time came. He can’t help but to continuously look at his watch. It’s exactly three now as he stands outside Izaya’s apartment building. He wonders if that flea is watching the time as well, hoping he will show up just as anxious as he is. Maybe Izaya thinks he isn’t going to show up at all and he could just turn and walk away. Still, the idea of him bothering him as often as possible in Ikebukuro is not an option. As much as he hate to admit it, he needs to be here and hopefully work something out with Izaya. 

Shizuo makes his way up in the elevator, his chest getting heavier with every second. It’s going to be a challenge not to get angry when Izaya is in fact his tigger. He does his best to ignore that as he knocks on the door to the loft. The door is answered by his secretary, Namie. She holds the door open wide enough for Izaya to see who is there. When the dark haired man looks up he gives a devious smirk.

 

“Shizu-chan,” He beams at him, removing his reading glasses and placing them on the desk in front of him. “I was hoping you’d still come by. Namie, you’re free to go.”

 

Namie looks at her boss strangely. Anytime he lets her go early it means that he is up to no good. When she doesn’t move to get her stuff Izaya looks at her pointedly. “Namie, Mr. Heiwajima and I have an appointment and it’s private. You’re free to go. I’ll pay you for the whole day.” 

 

Namie rolls her eyes, grabbing her bag by her desk and her jacket on her way out. When she shuts the door behind her Shizuo doesn’t move an inch from it. Izaya is still looking over some papers on his desk and when the blond doesn’t make his way to the seat awaiting him he receives another smirk.

 

“Come sit.” Izaya offers, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. Shizuo is slow and careful with his movements. It wouldn’t shock him is Izaya was planning on pulling out his switchblade at any minute.

 

The chair Shizuo sits in is uncomfortable. It could be because everything about this is uncomfortable and he just wants it to be over with. Izaya still says nothing as he looks over the man sitting in front of him. He is trying to drag this out, knowing what it’s doing to Shizuo. He finds it rather humorous to see the strongest man in Ikebukuro so nervous. Izaya thought he would never see the day. 

 

“Why did you ask me to come here?” Shizuo finally brings it up first. He can’t wait anymore, he doesn’t want to play this stupid game with him.

 

“I will say this first,” Izaya starts, reaching for a folder on the far corner of his desk, “You aren’t going to love this idea I have. Still, I wanted to test a theory I have.”

 

“And what theory is that?” Shizuo asks begrudgingly. He’d rather not know but he is here, isn’t he?

 

“You of course know Erika,” Izaya continues, his voice sounding all business and no play. “You have heard her very strange obsession between you and I and how our hatred for each other runs as something deeper than that.”

 

Shizuo tilts his head slightly, unsure if Izaya is getting at what he thinks he is getting at. He certainly hopes it’s not.

 

“Now, I don’t believe that it’s love or anything ridiculous like that.” Izaya admits, laughing slightly. “I do believe though, that we don’t need to fight, such as you hitting me with road signs and me cutting you with my switchblade, in order to get out our frustrations.”

 

The blond chews on the side of his cheek, trying his best to stay calm in this situation. “So what is it that you think we should do?”

 

Izaya stares at Shizuo for a moment, saying nothing and just taking in his expression. Izaya too seems a touch uneasy, he too chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Keep an open mind.” He offers first. “I think that maybe you and I could benefit each other by sleeping together.”

 

“Excuse me?” Shizuo’s voice gets now. He hopes he heard that incorrectly but he knows that he hasn’t. His anger is now building up and he isn’t sure he will be able to contain it. 

 

Izaya can sense the hostility rising and that’s not what he wants so he does his best to bring it back down. “I asked for an open mind.” He reminds. “I didn’t just think of this to piss you off. I really do think that this could benefit us both. Also, you are simply allowed to deny this offer, but I think for the two of us, it’s a good way to keep the violence low.”

 

Shizuo stands abruptly, chair falling back onto the floor behind him. “Who the hell would want to sleep with you?” He growls angrily. “I knew this was just a game.”

 

“This is no game.” Izaya half lies. He likes to toy with Shizuo but he really is curious to see if this will work. “You and I have no outlet with each other to get along, and usually frustrations can be taken care of in a physical way that doesn’t cause either of our deaths. So before you come after me and try and kill me, I request you look at the agreement I came up with.” Izaya reaches out, manilla folder in his hand to give to Shizuo.

 

“You may not trust me, and I understand,” Izaya says as he watches Shizuo stare at that folder, “just read this, think it over, and know that in no way would I break my word of what I have written here. Get back to me with an answer whenever you want.” 

 

The blond considers turning and leaving without a second glance at that folder but for some reason he can’t stop himself from snatching it out of Izaya’s hand. When he does, a stupid grin appears on that man’s face making Shizuo sick to his stomach. He has gotten himself into something he isn’t sure he will be able to get out of and that’s what worries him. 

 

                                                                                                                                              ~

 

Since Shizuo has gotten home, he hasn’t even peeked at the contents of the folder. Part of him is afraid to. Izaya called it an agreement making Shizuo wonder if it’s some sort of contract. He even wonders if a contract like that could even be made up. Sex? That’s really what Izaya thinks will calm the hostility between them? It’s a horrible idea, it’s so clear yet Shizuo is still tempted to read this agreement. 

With tea in his hand he stares at the folder on his coffee table. Shizuo sighs, giving up as he takes a seat on his couch, reaching for the folder. He places his tea on the table and opens the agreement up, scanning his eyes over the words.

 

_ The two parties, Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima would participate in sexual acts with each other in hopes to calm the feud between them. The intercourse between them would have no string attached, nothing romantic involved nor never would be. The two must consent each time they engage in intercourse or any sexual act. Kinks are to be taken into consideration as well as safe words can apply if needed. _

_ Also if needed, the two parties can come to one another with any worries or issues they may be dealing with. The ability to communicate hopefully being another vice to hold off on violence between them. _

_ The sexual relationship between the two parties would be completely confidential as too keep embarrassment off of each individual. Izaya Orihara would agree to only step foot in Ikebukuro for work if this agreement is signed. He would do his best to avoid Shizuo Heiwajima while he is doing said business so they only need to be in contact when they’re sharing the need to release their pent up frustrations. _

 

Shizuo feels a little sick. To think that he is even considering this idea makes him wonder where his sanity has gone. Yes, if he agrees to this he never has to see Izaya in his town, or at least a lot less. Still he would have to see him to have sex with him. Shizuo doesn’t even understand of sex would help them not physically fight each other the way they always do. Shizuo doesn’t really understand sex in general. He is beginning to feel even more sick and now it’s because he is anxious again. If he agrees to this, he is making a decision that will impact everything and he’s not sure if the impact will be positive or negative. 

Tomorrow, Shizuo doesn’t have to work so tomorrow he can go back to Izaya’s and throw this agreement in his face or he can set it down, already signed so they can try this experiment of his together. Shizuo still doesn’t get why he is considering this. He wonders if he hates violence _that_ _much_. He wonders if he hates it enough to get into bed with the flea; with a disgusting human being who cares about nobody but himself. Shizuo kicks himself as he sets the folder down and grabs a pen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter. I haven't really had the motivation nor time to write but here it is. Also, just a heads up that I like to think that Izaya lives in the loft he works out of mostly because ever since watching the show I've always imagined it that way even if it's not fully accurate. So in this story, the loft is where he loves because I enjoy the idea.

All Shizuo can think about all day is the smug look that Izaya is going to have when he hands over this folder. He still has the ability to turn back now but he knows in the end that doing so will not be beneficial. Shizuo doesn’t knock this time, instead just walking into the loft. Izaya is once again behind his desk even when Namie is long gone and the sun has started to set. The informant drops his glasses in front of him and smiles. Damn it, Shizuo hates that stupid smile of his.

 

“So did you come to throw that agreement in my face” he asks, leaning back in his office chair. Shizuo drops the folder on the desk in front of him, Izaya looking to the folder and back up at the blond. He’s hesitant as he reaches for it, actually shocked when he sees Shizuo’s signature on the dotted line. “I didn’t think you’d actually agree.” Izaya admits, eyes glued to the name on the agreement. 

 

“So was that your game?” Shizuo asks angrily. “Trying to see if I’d go for it, well then forget-”

 

“No, no, no. Not so fast.” Izaya cuts him off. “No game, Shizu-chan. I just really expected for you to throw this in my face and beat the shit out of me.” Izaya chuckles lightly. 

 

Shizuo doesn’t know what to say to that. Honestly, he feels that what he should have done but he still just handed the agreement in like it was homework. Izaya’s eyes peer up at the other man as he shuts the folder closed offering for Shizuo to sit down. 

 

“Well, I guess that leads us to the questionnaire.”  Izaya hums gleefully. He pulls out a paper from a drawer in his desk and grabs a pen.

 

“Questionnaire?” Shizuo questions as he sits down, taking off his glasses and placing them inside his vest pocket. 

 

“A formality, really.” Izaya offers placing his reading glasses back on, scanning over the questions. “Now, first things first, do you have any STD’s?” 

 

The blond raises a brow, shifting in his seat. He looks anywhere besides Izaya. He wasn’t aware that he was going to asked a series of embarrassing questions. “It’s not really possible for me to.” He mumbles.

 

Izaya huffs at that. “Why?” He asks, amused. “Are you the kind of monster that can’t contract viruses?” 

 

“I’ve never had sex.” Shizuo replies honestly making Izaya look at him questionably. He thinks he is lying but then again it kind of makes sense.

 

“Are you serious?” Izaya asks slowly, still looking at the other rather strangely. It makes him question why he would agree to this even more. Shizuo just shrugs still not wanting to make eye contact. He feels embarrassed about this, being the age he is and still not sexually active. “Okay, well that skips the next question then.”

 

“What was it?” Shizuo asks out of curiosity.

 

“‘How many sexual partners have you had’.” Izaya says.

 

“How many have you had?” Shizuo questions making the other scoff at the sudden bavery.

 

Izaya looks to his desk then back up to Shizuo. He is smiling at the other but it’s not a kind smile. “If I’m being honest I’ve lost count.” He tells truthfully. “I’m rather sexually active.”

 

The idea makes Shizuo a little uneasy. To think that someone he is going to be sleeping with isn’t afraid to give it away makes him wonder so many things. This makes him wonder if Izaya will be sleeping with other people while they are doing this little agreement of theirs. Not that it really matters if he does, it’s not as if they’re agreeing to be in a monogamous relationship. Still, Shizuo doesn’t think he could just have sex with someone else while he is having regular sex with a different person. He doesn’t see the need. Then again Shizuo has never had sex before so maybe he just doesn’t understand how it works yet.

 

“Anyway, next question,” Izaya moves on. “Any kinks that you know of? Just so I can be aware before I’m caught off guard.”

 

Shizuo shrugs again. He wouldn’t have any idea what he’s into. He hasn’t really even experimented with anything. The poor guy doesn’t even know if he is gay, straight or whatever. At this point in time he is simply rolling with the punches. Instead of not saying anything he questions what, if any are Izaya’s kinks. The informant is a touch thrown off at that.

 

“I think I should know,” Shizuo points out, “if you and I are going to be doing things together we should both know these kinds of things.”

 

Izaya nods understandingly. The man has a point. “I don’t want to freak you out but keep in mind that we don’t need to do all these things.” He starts. “I like the normal stuff such as biting, hair pulling, spanking. I’m not against BDSM in anyway. I also like praise, I guess you could call it and role playing. I’m pretty into being dominated, believe it or not and I think that is it. At least that is all I can think of at the moment.”

 

Those words said so openly makes the blond turn a deep shade of red which causes Izaya to be pretty pleased with himself. Now knowing that Shizuo is a real life blushing virgin he is going to have fun tearing down those walls and find the Shizuo that’s been hiding all these years. Shizuo sinks down in his seat wishing he could be anywhere else because his embarrassment is starting to make his anger boil. Izaya notices.

 

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” Izaya asks.

 

“When does this start?” Shizuo wonders.

 

Izaya shrugs, leaning back into his seat. “Tonight?” He suggests and when Shizuo shifts quickly in his seat and eyes go wide, the informant makes a second suggestion. “Or whenever you’re ready.”

 

Shizuo immediately calms down at those words but what he doesn’t know is Izaya is trying to see how far he can push the monster. He wants to see what will trigger him positively or negatively, hoping that maybe he can actually see Shizuo’s desires. He is going to be able to study someone who he has viewed as barely human, up close and very personal. Izaya hates to admit it but he’s excited to spend the night with Shizuo.

 

“But if you wanted, tonight would work out perfectly.” Izaya smirks, watching the shift in Shizuo’s demeanor. He does his best not to chuckle and continue forth. “I mean, Namie isn’t here and won’t be back until tomorrow morning so we have the whole place to ourselves. Not to mention I’ve grown a bit bored of my work and could use a little fun.”

 

Shizuo’s heart is pounding in his chest. He really is going to do this, right now with Izaya, the person he hates most. He doesn’t understand how this is going to work. How does someone sleep with someone they despise? He needs to stop thinking. Shizuo knows that if he keeps thinking he will probably never break this barrier he has alway kind of wanted to. The reason he has never taken such a step with anyone, now that’s something he doesn’t want to share.

 

“We could move over to the couch.” Izaya suggests. Shizuo still doesn’t say much. He simply follows the other’s lead. He follows everything Izaya does because now he is in unmarked territory. 

 

As Shizuo moves to the couch he feels even more tense. Izaya is sitting kind of far from him, leaning his back against the arm and watching him carefully. “We could move slowly if that helps.” Izaya mentions. “Maybe we could start with kissing. You’ve kissed someone before haven’t you?” He hopes the answer isn’t no because if it is he really is going to be corrupting Shizuo.

 

“Once.” He replies kind of shakily. To Izaya he just seems like a shy teenager and that he is taking advantage of him. He feels a bit badly about it but that doesn’t stop Izaya from scooching closer to Shizuo who is looking straight ahead, leg bouncing anxiously and fists held tightly in his lap. 

 

It would be easy to think Izaya is scared but he really isn’t. This is the most vulnerable he has ever seen his enemy and there is something so gratifying about it. Izaya is mesmerized by this shyness, bringing a gentle hand up to Shizuo’s cheek to guide him to look at him. For once there isn’t an ounce of evil that Shizuo can see in his eyes. The blond still doesn’t move, allowing for Izaya to lift up a little and connect their lips. Once their lips touch, Izaya can feel just how badly Shizuo is shaking and he doesn’t know if it’s anxiety or anger. Either way he urges forth, deepening the kiss by placing his other hand on Shizuo’s other cheek. 

Shizuo doesn’t really know what to do but he does his best, pushing back into their kiss, moving his lips whenever Izaya does. What Shizuo doesn’t do is lay a hand on the other. He keeps his hands balled into fists in his lap even when Izaya finds a way to fit his tongue inside Shizuo’s mouth. That was a bit much and the blond moves away in a huff, wiping his bottom lip free of saliva. He’s kissed somebody once and it was nothing like that. Still, that kiss did something. Shizuo’s heart is pounding in his chest and he can feel himself growing in his pants. He doesn’t like how easy it was for Izaya to do that.

Izaya looks at the other sideways, studying his features, trying his best to read his mind. It’s not regret on Shizuo’s face, it’s another emotion: fear. Izaya wonders what exactly it is that he is afraid of.  Shizuo is a complex character that has alway been difficult to read, quite possibly one the the reasons he hates him. Izaya prefers people who are easy to read yet here he is trying to get into bed with someone who is a hard nut to crack. Oh well, he’s done worse.

Ignoring the fear on Shizuo’s face, Izaya moves into the other man’s lap, hands back on his face, doing his best to appear as a gentle lover. Shizuo doesn’t seem to like the soft side of Izaya and moves his face from his hands. 

 

“Is this not okay?” Izaya asks carefully. His eyes don’t leave the blond’s face and his body doesn’t leave his lap either. 

 

“It’s just…” Shizuo starts then trails off. His fists are now on either side of him, still tightly closed and Izaya notices. He reaches down to one of the tightly closed fists, holding it carefully in his hands and gently trying to unwrap it to get to Shizuo’s open palm. Oddly enough he opens his fist rather easily and allows Izaya to rub circles along his palm. 

 

Izaya stares at Shizuo. “I can try and make this seem special if that helps.”

 

“It’s not that,” Shizuo admits shakily, “it’s something else.” He doesn’t want to add on but Izaya wants to understand. Not because he cares but because he is really curious why this man isn’t getting handsy. He actually expected Shizuo to get rough as soon as he initiated tongue into their kiss. His theory was wrong. 

 

Instead of asking anymore questions, Izaya brings Shizuo’s unfisted hand to his waist as he leans in to kiss him again. They’re still slow with it but Izaya is growing impatient and tries to tease with his tongue once more. This time, Shizuo opens his mouth a little wider, sliding his own tongue against the other. The hand on Izaya’s hip tightens its grip only slightly making him jump at the sudden liveliness. 

Izaya reaches down one hand to Shizuo’s other fisted hand, unraveling it without stopping their mouths and placing it on his leg. Immediately his hand goes back to Shizuo’s face, fingers sprawled onto his neck and thumbs stroking his cheeks. Izaya can’t help but moan into the kiss lightly. It’s beginning to get to him, with large hands on him that aren’t sure what to do and a tongue that is trying to find a friend. Shizuo is for sure enthusiastic but he doesn’t show it with his hands, only his mouth.

 

“Come on,” Izaya breathes out a giggle, trying to tease, “touch me.” 

 

Shizuo sighs into the kiss shakily. He slides the hand on Izaya’s leg upward. He brings it up and round his hip to his back to bring him in a little closer and lower. Izaya calls out a little in shock, not expecting to get that kind of contact yet. Shizuo groans, not letting Izaya escape from their kiss. The blond is growing more confident with each stride of his tongue. He may be sloppy at technique but he definitely getting Izaya worked up. 

Izaya pulls their lips apart, sitting up to stare down at the man below him. Shizuo’s face is flushed with embarrassment and it makes the informant smile. He leans back down, trailing kisses up Shizuo’s neck and he begins to unbutton his vest, pulling it off quickly so he can remove his tie and get started with the shirt. With each button, Izaya kisses the exposed skin, sinking lower and lower until his knees hit the floor. He peers up at Shizuo, thinking he looks rather good like this; shirt unbuttoned and chest and muscles exposed. Izaya bites his lip as he looks over him. He never thought he would find Shizuo Heiwajima sexy yet here he is on his knees before him having trouble thinking of anyone who has looked better. 

Shizuo just watches, unsure of what Izaya is doing on the ground but he doesn’t ask. He’s sure that Izaya knows what he is doing a little bit better than him. Shizuo doesn’t complain when the informant unbuckles his belt, unbutton and unzips his pants. He’s getting nervous but lifts his hips a little to help Izaya pull the fabric down with his boxer briefs. Shizuo’s erection hits his stomach with a slap and Izaya’s eyes go wide. He wasn’t expecting such a size. The guy is perfectly endowed; not too large, not too small. Shizuo’s dick is just right in girth as well as length which was certainly not what Izaya thought.

 

“Who knew you were packing?” Izaya can’t help but to joke. Shizuo tilts his head back, too shy to look at the man on his knees. Izaya just smirks to himself, crawling up a little bit closer to properly lick the shaft of Shizuo’s cock. 

 

The blond lets out a wavering breath, immediately looking back at what Izaya is doing when the contact is made. Izaya’s eyes pierce his, staring up at him as he licks the length a couple more times before taking the head into his mouth. Shizuo groans, hands gripping at the couch cushions now but Izaya would prefer those hands in his hair.  The dark haired man sucks a bit harder on the tip seeing if that with get Shizuo’s instincts to kick in. 

 

Nothing.

 

Izaya takes more of Shizuo into his mouth, going as far as he can go then back up. He gets a very satisfying groan from the blond but still, he doesn’t put his hands on him. It makes Izaya wonder if Shizuo is scared of his strength just as much as everyone else is. This man can barely use his hands and that is for sure going to be a problem. Izaya stops the movements of his mouth and Shizuo is clearly disappointed with that. It’s funny because now, you would never expect there to be a vicious bone is Shizuo’s body.

 

“You’re allowed to touch me.” Izaya hums, running his hands up Shizuo’s still clothes thighs. “Like I said earlier, I like my hair pulled.” With that, he smirks before wrapping the base of Shizuo’s cock in his hand and guiding it back to his mouth. After that, Shizuo got the picture and he brought his right hand into Izaya’s hair. 

 

At first, Shizuo is just running his hands through the soft, black locks. Izaya doesn’t mind; this attention is much better than no attention. He actually moans at the contact and once he does, his hair is gripped tight and mouth his filled Shizuo’s ejaculate. The blond looks mortified, quickly releasing Izaya’s hair when the rush of his abrupt orgasm fades away.

 

“I-i didn’t mean-”

 

“It’s fine,” Izaya chuckles once he swallows and wipes his lip. “It happens, especially when you’ve never been touched before.”

 

This doesn’t exactly help Shizuo feel any better so he quickly tucks himself away in his pants. When Izaya notices he is refastening his belt he gets back into his lap, grabbing his face and kissing him opened mouth so he can taste himself on his tongue. Shizuo groans into it, arms slowly encircling Izaya, bringing him closer. When Izaya pulls away, the blond heaves a breath. He didn’t expect for this to be over so quickly.

 

“So,” Izaya smiles, lips still only inches from Shizuo’s when he pulls away, “how was your first blow job?”

 

Shizuo growls, that anger coming back to a simmer. Still, even though he’s angry, he holds Izaya tighter, lips capturing his again hungrily. He doesn’t like being embarrassed and he knows Izaya is doing it on purpose. Luckily though, it seems he found a new and more effective way of shutting him up. Shizuo actually likes this act of kissing. He doesn’t know if he enjoys doing it with Izaya but he likes the feeling that it sparks on his lips and excitement it creates in the pit of his stomach.

It’s clear that this night will eventually end in sex. It’s clear and it’s understood between the both of them but Shizuo could spend the whole night like this, wrapped up in delicate limbs as he continues to kiss soft lips and chase a playful tongue. Shizuo groans deeply into Izaya’s mouth and it makes the smaller man whimper a little. Moving a bit quicker now, Izaya pushes away, hands going to the hem of his shirt and pulling it off.

Their chests press together and it makes both of them moan. Everything is getting too hot so Izaya pushes Shizuo’s shirt off of his shoulders so he can touch every inch of skin. It seems that Shizuo is learning quickly because he moves from Izaya’s lips to his neck, placing feather light kisses down to his collarbone. A breathy moan escapes from Izaya’s throat as a tingle shivers throughout his body. He begins to grind against Shizuo’s hip causing them both to groan at the friction it causes. 

 

“Let’s go to the bedroom.” Izaya whispers into Shizuo’s ear before biting down on the lobe and pulling. This causes the man below him to growl as if he were an angry bear, leaning in and biting down hard on Izaya’s neck. He calls out, nails digging into Shizuo’s chest and the blond stops completely once he realized what he did.

 

“There’s the monster I know.” Izaya teases with a giggle but Shizuo didn’t find it funny. He pulls away slightly, grabbing Izaya’s arms before carefully pulling him off of him to the other side of the couch. Izaya looks at him strangely. “What happened?” Izaya liked the biting and was hoping he’d get to see Shizuo lose it a bit and become an animal like he does when they fight. Now Shizuo is sitting on the couch with his head down, arms in his lap as he twiddles his thumbs.

 

“Don’t call me that.” He replies quietly making Izaya a touch confused.

 

“What?” He asks, “A monster?”

 

Shizuo nods, turning his head to look up at Izaya. The poor man looks like a kicked puppy. His eyes shift to the mark he left on Izaya from the bite, it’s already bruising in the shape of his teeth. “I didn’t mean to do it that hard.” His voice wavers as his hand comes up to Izaya’s neck so he can stroke a finger carefully against the bruising.

 

Izaya looks to Shizuo’s hand then back to his face. “Shizu-chan,” he shifts in his seat, eyes not leaving his face, “you don’t have to be gentle with me. That’s the whole point of this, for you to put your anger into it so it’s a better release.”

 

The blond looks back at Izaya rather confused. “Isn’t sex supposed to be something, careful and caring?” He asks.

 

Izaya shakes his head. “Not always.” He says. “Sometimes sex is nasty and rough and sometimes you come out of it with a few bruises.”

 

“So that’s what my first time is going to be?” Shizuo asks, looking away from the other, his eyes going straight to the floor. “Rough and violent like the rest of my life?”

 

The feeling that forms in Izaya’s chest he can’t control. He feels  _ terrible _ . He knows how Shizuo talks and talks about how he hates violence but it never seemed true because he is a pretty violent person but with this behavior it shows how much he actually hates it. Izaya almost doesn’t know what to say. He’s close to just telling Shizuo to go home and forget this ever happened. Maybe to go find someone else to lose his virginity to because he wants something slow and sweet. 

The thing is, Izaya doesn’t want to forget this whole thing they are doing and he doesn’t want Shizuo to lose his virginity to someone else. If Shizuo wants slow and sweet, Izaya can play that part no problem. It wouldn’t be the first time he played a part for the bedroom.

 

“Hey,” Izaya hums sweetly, hand on Shizuo’s cheek to turn his face towards his. He kisses him gently, tenderly to make it seemed like he is loved even when he isn’t, “we can go slow today. We won’t do anything kinky, or rough tonight. I will simply show you what it’s like to be inside someone. Okay?”

 

Shizuo nods his head slowly, his eyes dropping but not pulling away when his lips meet Izaya’s once again. The kisses are slow and tender and opened mouthed. Even though he is nervous, Shizuo does want this. He doesn’t get why he wants this, and he knows it can’t be an attraction to this flea. He assumes that this weird craving is just a biological need that Izaya awoke inside him.

 

“Let’s go to the bedroom.” Izaya says once again when he stops kissing the other. He takes Shizuo’s hands in his and leads him to his room. Once there, Izaya sits on the bed, pulling Shizuo by the loops on his slacks before he begins to follow him onto the bed himself. 

 

Izaya is happy to remove the rest of the blond’s clothes, biting his lip when he gets a glance at his length again. He’s thrilled Shizuo is as hard as he is. He was sure he was going to have trouble considering how much hate is there but that’s not the case, even with Izaya. The informant grins up at he other who hovers above him as he removes his own pants and underwear. Shizuo blushes deeply when he looks over Izaya’s naked body. It’s strangely how someone would think he would look. He’s thin, quite thin that Shizuo is scared he is going to break him. Izaya’s thighs are small and an erection that matches his stature. He’s smaller than Shizuo but still enough to make a statement. 

 

“Now, I’ll need to be prepped.” Izaya says, reaching into his bedside table, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom. “Would you like to do it or would you like me to?”

 

Shizuo doesn’t even know what that question means. “Could you show me how?” He aks shakily. His arms quiver as he holds himself above Izaya, moving to sit up so he can feel a bit more comfortable. Izaya only smirks at the other when that question is uttered. He has no problem showing him how to touch him.

 

The informant grabs the lube, squirting some onto three fingers, spreading it to make sure they are properly coated. Shizuo just watches carefully, trying to understand what exactly Izaya is doing. Shizuo doesn’t understand a single thing about sex. He doesn’t get how it works between two men, he barely understands how it works between a man and a woman. He didn’t pay close attention in sex ed so his eyes don’t leave Izaya’s body.

Shizuo’s eyes follow Izaya’s hand down past his erection to his hole. The blond’s breath hitches when Izaya enters a single finger inside himself. The informant hums pleasantly as he begins to stroke it in and out, working up a rhythm as he opens himself up. Izaya’s eyes find Shizuo’s, giving him a devious smile as he continues to finger himself.

 

“It’s very simple,” Izaya breathes out, entering in a second finger, “all you have to do is open me up with your fingers, nice and slow. Do you think you can do it?” Once he asks this, he enters in a third finger, closing his eyes and arching his back as he moans. It’s a bit for show, a bit not. He wants Shizuo to gain a little bit of courage and take charge and Izaya thought that if he shows him it feels good to do this, he’d want to try it even more.

 

Shizuo only nods at Izaya’s question making him chuckle at that awestruck face. He hands the blond the lube, shakily he squirts some onto his hand and coats three fingers just as Izaya did. Shizuo leans forward, pressing one digit to the entrance and pushing it inside. His fingers are a bit larger than Izaya’s so it spreads in a little wider but he likes it. He allows Shizuo to explore and learn on his own, thinking he is doing a fine job at opening him up. 

Izaya becomes a little breathless, wanting more than just one finger but he knows Shizuo is experimenting a needs his time. The informant bites his lip, moving his hips down on the finger inside him, needing as much contact as he can get. Shizuo is a bit dazed, his eyes leaving Izaya’s ass and moving up to his face. He actually looks cute with his mouth open like it is, huffing for breath and eyes closed. Shizuo moves up his body, leaning down to capture his lips. Izaya lets out a noise of shock, not expecting the contact but kissing back with no protest. 

As the two kiss, Shizuo lets another finger slip inside Izaya who lets out whine, their lips still partially connected. Izaya can’t believe how much Shizuo is interested in kissing. There are some clients Izaya had to spend a night with that had a rule that there was to be no kissing and then there is his greatest enemy not being able to get enough of it. It’s enough to make Izaya laugh but instead he enjoys the much needed attention his body is getting. 

Shizuo is a bit take aback at how tight Izaya is. He doesn’t know why that turns him on but it does. The way his fingers are being gripped make him wonder how it’s going to feel on another part of him, making him hope that he will last longer than he did with that blow job. Shizuo groans inwardly, lips moving to Izaya’s neck, kissing lightly as he enters in a third finger. At that, Izaya calls out, wrapping around Shizuo’s shoulders, holding him close to his body. The informant wants so much more but he isn’t going to say it. He may be enjoying himself but he doesn’t want to give Shizuo the satisfaction of it. 

 

“How do I know when you’re ready?” The blond asks, breathily into Izaya’s ear. Izaya scoffs a little. Shizuo is growing impatient himself and doesn’t have the same amount of pride as Izaya to not say anything. He is an animal just one in hiding. 

 

The informant smiles, about to whisper something seductively in Shizuo’s ear but the blond changes the angle of his fingers. He hits Izaya’s prostate making him let out a long moan and arch his back into the other’s body. Shizuo freezes at that, thinking he did something wrong but Izaya whines when he doesn’t get that same shiver through his body again.

 

“No, do that again.” He breathes into the blond’s ear. “Touch me there again, it feels good.”   


Shizuo does as told, hitting that spot again making the other writhe and cry as the spot in assulted. Izaya hates himself a little for allowing himself to lose his control but it’s been a while since he’s had someone touch him like this. It hasn’t been horribly long, but long enough for him to feel needy and crave this kind of attention. Izaya can’t take it anymore and he wants the real thing. He pushes Shizuo away, making him remove his three fingers from inside him and pushes him onto his back. Izaya then straddles the blond’s hips, leaning down to hungrily kiss him. Shizuo groans into it, hands feeling a little less shy and moving up Izaya’s back.

After a few moments of kissing, Izaya sits up, reaching over for the lube and the condom on the bedside table. He’s quick to rip the condom open and put it on the other and then lube up Shizuo’s cock, getting a small moan out of the man’s throat. Izaya feels as if he is having the weirdest kind of fever dreams. He is actually in his own bedroom with Shizuo Heiwajima beneath him, completely naked with lust filled eyes. Izaya’s eyes match his as he positions himself above the other’s dick, using his hand to hold it in place as he lowers down on it. 

He can’t help it, Izaya moans as he gets filled with Shizuo’s dick. The blond doesn’t let out a sound, just displays an expression no one has ever seen him make before. He looks like he is lost somewhere and Izaya would pay attention but he is trying to focus on keeping his composure. He wants to enjoy himself, yes, but he also needs to study Shizuo the best he can. Izaya starts to move, lifting so only the tip in left inside him then moves back down, repeating the action over and over. He’s sure to swivel his hips and move just right. 

Shizuo is shaking again, this time from both fear and pleasure. He allows Izaya to do what he pleases, understanding that Izaya knows exactly what he is doing. Shizuo moves his hands from the other’s back down to his hips, gripping them a touch too tightly but Izaya doesn’t mind. He will allow Shizuo to get as rough as he wants, allow him to use his instincts as they do this. 

Izaya is not scared of Shizuo as he bounces on top of him, getting his cock to hit his prostate dead on. He whines and moans, letting his guard down because he knows very well that Shizuo is in no position to cause any physical harm. The man looks lost in pleasure, as if he is young man losing his virginity to a skilled prostitute. Shizuo is gentle and submissive, simply following whatever Izaya does, huffing and grunting whenever it feels exceptionally good. 

 

Izaya leans down, stopping his movements and getting close to Shizuo’s face. “Is this good?” He asks teasingly. “Do you like being ridden?”

 

Shizuo swallows, getting shy again. “It’s good,” he breathes out, “do you like it?”

 

A generous lover, is he? Izaya can get used to that. He smirks, delicate hands skating up Shizuo’s chest and to his neck, carefully stroking his skin. “I do.” He replies simply but has so much more to say. He kisses Shizuo heavily. When he pulls away, Shizuo looks concerned.

 

“Is there something more I can do?” The blond asks, thinking that maybe him just laying here isn’t good enough. He doesn’t know why but he wants to be giving. Shizuo has never been a selfish person so it makes sense that he wouldn’t be in bed either.

 

Izaya leans up to Shizuo’s ear, biting his lobe again, receiving a groan and a bite, much gentler than the last one, to his own shoulder. “Do whatever you like.” He whispers seductively but it leaves the blonde unsure. 

 

Izaya pulls back, looking at Shizuo’s face as he tries to think of what to do. It makes the dark haired man smirk at the other. He leans down and places a kiss on his lips, making sure their bodies are as close as they can get. Izaya begins to circle his hips again, not letting their kiss falter even when Shizuo’s length continues to rub against his sweet spot and he whimpers. 

 

“Take control,” Izaya finally whines, it’s easier to be blunt than coy. He doesn’t want the upper hand anymore. He just wants to be taken care of. “Please, just fuck me, Shizu-Chan.”

 

The blond understands, wrapping his arms around Izaya’s waist, turning them over, hoping to stay buried inside this warmth as he settles on top of the other. His enemy’s eyes are glossed over with lust, need. Shizuo allows his body to follow his instincts, moving his own hips forward carefully until he can’t fit any deeper. He lingers deep inside Izaya for a moment before pulling back out and then gently pushing back in. The other whines, hands skating into Shizuo’s hair and gripping lightly. The action feels rather nice and he groans.

The two keep the slow pace but it’s starting to not be enough for Izaya. It’s almost as if Shizuo is teasing him but he wouldn’t know what teasing consists of. The informant pushes his hips to meet every thrust of the other’s, wanting so badly to have his prostate found again. 

 

“Push my legs back,” Izaya instructs breathlessly, bringing Shizuo’s hands to the back of his thighs. As he brings those pale legs back, Izaya’s hips lift from the bed, changing the angle of their position. Shizuo is now sitting up a little more straight, gaining a bit more confidence in his movements. 

With the new angle its quick for Izaya’s spot to be found. He calls out, gripping the bed sheets and pressing back into the feeling. Shizuo is mesmerized by this. He can’t believe he is thinking this but Izaya looks so beautiful lost in pleasure. His eyes are screwed shut, mouth agape as he huffs in breaths, trying to keep his composure. Shizuo can’t help himself, leaning down to kiss the other once again, kissing him as if that’s what he needs to breathe; Izaya kissing him back with the same level of passion.

 

“Harder.” Izaya requests breathlessly, looking into the blond’s eyes. “Do it harder, please.”

 

Shizuo knows what Izaya means. He knows he was being really gentle but he has a valid reason for doing so. He’s trying his hardest not to cum too soon. He doesn’t want this to be over yet but he obliges to Izaya’s request. He moves a bit faster and rougher than before, still holding the smaller man’s legs back and wide open. 

Izaya moans loudly, arching his back as his prostate gets the attention he’s been wanting. He’s getting close so he takes himself in his hands to get him to his peak faster. Shizuo feels his orgasm coming quickly himself, so he stops his movements instantly in hopes to hold it off. Izaya groans as his own orgasm disappears along with Shizuo’s movements.

 

“No. no,” he breathes out, “why did you stop? Don’t stop.” Izaya sounds so desperate but he doesn’t care, he just wants to cum. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Shizuo sighs, breathing heavy. “I just...I don’t want this to end yet and I was really close. You should cum first, right?”

 

Izaya gives Shizuo a look. He doesn’t know why but he’s speechless. He only reaches out his hand, palm resting on the side of the blond’s cheek, rubbing the skin on his face before bringing the hand into his hair. Shizuo stares back at Izaya for an answer but one doesn’t come. The two just lay there, looking at each other with the perplexed expression. 

Izaya brings his other hand up to Shizuo’s shoulder, dancing his fingers along the smooth surface as he continues to stare. “You’re an enigma aren’t you?” He asks, now smirking, getting one in return.

 

Shizuo lets out a quick laugh, moving closer to Izaya’s lips. Unsure of why, he stops right before he leans in and Izaya leans upward as if to say “come back”. Their lips connect a final time, Shizuo starting to move his hips again, his own hand wrapping around the smaller man’s erection making him let out this choked kind of sound. It makes the blond stop for a second but when he realizes he inflicted no pain he starts to stroke the other as he moves inside him. Their lips never leave each other’s and it’s as if they’re lovers; connected in a way no one could understand. Shizuo almost has to remind himself that it’s Izaya beneath him and not someone who cares about him. 

 

“Shizu-Chan,” Izaya calls, gripping his back so their bodies are close together, “I’m almost there. Keep going, just like that.”

 

It’s seems best to follow the instructions given. Shizuo keeps the same rhythm, the sound of Izaya’s panting in his ear driving him. He can’t hold back his release anymore, filling the condom and only seconds later Izaya cumming onto each their stomachs and Shizuo’s hand. They grip each other tightly as they ride out their orgasms, groaning and moaning, sounding like a symphony. Then it’s over and realization kicks in.

Shizuo pulls away from Izaya’s grip, the dark haired males arms falling to his sides, eyes closed and expression sated. All the blond does is stare for a moment before pulling out and turning onto his back. He discards the used condom away in the small trash can beside the bed then just lays there in shock of what just happened. 

 

Izaya then turns, curling his body up against the toned partner lying beside him. He begins to drag a finger along Shizuo’s chest and he smirks up at him. “So how was that?” He asks. “A satisfying first time?”

 

The thought of that is weird to Shizuo. He doesn’t feel different in the way that he thought. He actually feels a bit disgusted with himself for allowing such a thing to be with Izaya. Shizuo realizes he hasn’t responded to the question but he chooses to not answer. He feels awkward and uncomfortable but there is something he doesn’t feel and that’s angry. He knows there is no reason to be angry. Izaya didn’t trick him into this bed; it was quite literally a mutual agreement between them. They decided this as two consenting adults and it was actually...fun?

 

“I need to go,” Shizuo says suddenly, pushing away from Izaya, leaving him behind on the bed. He watches the blond as he finds the couple pieces of his clothing that are on the floor and dresses himself. 

 

“Can’t believe I’m saying this,” Izaya chuckles, “but I hope you didn’t decide that you want this to be a one time thing.”

 

Shizuo doesn’t say anything to that. He just quickly shifts his eyes from the floor to the wall as he pulls his pants up and buttons them. He looks around for his shirt and vest, remembering they’re downstairs. Shizuo looks to Izaya on the bed thinking of something to say to him but he can’t think as he stares at the smug smirk on the informant’s face. 

 

“I need to go.” Shizuo repeats once his brain decides to start working again. He takes one last look at the naked man on the bed before speeding out of the room. 

 

“Next time we will figure out some kinks!” Izaya calls after him, chuckling to himself  just knowing how much that probably made the blond blush. Also, he kind of can’t wait until next time just so he can keep peeling away these fascinating layers to Shizuo Heiwajima. 

  
  


                                                                                                                              ~

 

For some reason Shizuo decided to walk home, every time he’d finish one cigarette he would light up another. He wanted to think, to understand why he decided to actually do this, why he  _ actually _ enjoyed himself and why he wasn’t furious once it was all over and what had happened fully settled in. Living in a world where Izaya is right doesn’t seem like a world Shizuo would like to live in. 

He feels crazy because he feels he wouldn’t mind doing what they just did together again. Shizuo likes the idea of being held tightly in those arms again. He likes the idea of causing such euphoric noises. He likes the idea of trying new things and more than anything he likes the idea of being able to have an outlet for his anger if doing this is really going to help with that. If Izaya is that outlet then maybe so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a comment and let me know what you thought. Be gentle of course, I'm delicate.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked the first chapter. I'm not too sure when I will update this again but I sure to plan on getting more chapters out as quickly as possible.


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